Here I am. Showing people that aren’t my mother my bare skin since I was a junior in high school (4 years ago).
I had acne for a little over 4 years. The kind that was not only physically painful but emotionally as well. I got so good at covering it with makeup that I almost forgot it was there. I can confidently say I have worn makeup from sun up to sun down for the last 4 years. A lot of the time I would sleep in my makeup because I didn’t want to see myself without it on…which I’m sure only made things 100x worse…By the time night came and it was time to take it all off, I would just cry the entire time…It hurt to touch my face and I felt so ugly. I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror…
When I met Tom my skin still wasn’t better, it was actually at its worst. I never let him see me without foundation or concealer for over a year (this all sounds so dramatic but I swear it was bad), but he knew what was going on. He would hold me while I cried about it.
In May of 2016 he encouraged me to see a dermatologist. I tried antibiotics, topical creams, cut out dairy and just changed how I ate all together. But nothing worked. So finally my doctor recommended accutane which I was extremely excited about because I had seen the results it gives! After 6 months of dry skin, cracked lips and a couple bloody noses I finally completed it 3 months ago! I never imagined my skin could look like this! I look like a normal human being.
For the first time In my adult life, I actually enjoy removing my makeup and sometimes I even hate covering my “new skin” with makeup. But for some weird reason I still can’t get myself to show anyone other than myself and the closest closest people to me. I still don’t think I am even confident enough to really just chill around the house without makeup on all day. I just want you to know that, if you are going through what I went through and still are, I want you to know it will end. It will get better! Just hang in there. Your skin doesn’t define you. Which I know is easy to say and hard to believe but you CAN be beautiful with acne. I wish I would have thought that when it was at its worst.
…I can’t wait to see how my confidence grows over time after being rid of the thing that kept my confidence a prisoner…I’m learning. This is step #1 But I can’t wait to feel actually free. ✌🏼